Edwin ♥ Louella

A good book I have been reading is "Bringing Up Boys" by Dr. James Dobson. Wow, this book has been such an eye-opener for me. I even understand Edwin better because of it. Dr. James Dobson enumerates the God-given unique characteristics of boys (as compared to those of girls) and how it is so crucial to raise them, considering how they are wired so differently from girls. He also stresses how important it is to protect their self-esteem at all costs--boys are naturally more competetive and failure is a bigger blow to the ego than for girls. He talks extensively about the origins of homosexuality which is something I had only a vague idea about until now.

What struck me the most, however, is his attack of feminism, women's lib, and postmodernism/moral relativism. I realize now that they are real threats to raising boys to become strong, godly men. He says that women's lib advocates have gone beyond pushing for women's rights to extremes of man-bashing and not recognizing/suppressing the needs of boys. I've grown up to believe all this stuff as just part of reality.

For instance, I love movies like Runaway Bride, not knowing that this movie has reversed the roles of male and female (Julia Roberts is uncommitted, independent, assertive, macho; Richard Gere is effeminate, weak). Political correctness does not allow for stereotypically male and female labels--even toy shops have been criticized, everything should be unisex.

However, the difference just can't be denied and should not have to be. I've resolved that I will encourage my boys to be boys (even if it means some rowdiness, running and rough play, etc.), and if we have a girl I will encourage her to be a girl. I've made the mistake many times, sometimes expecting my boys to sit still and concentrate, behave, etc.

On the flip side, growing up, I was always bombarded with messages like, "Girls can and should do everything men can, and even better." I realize that this actually increases the pressure on girls to be good at guy-stuff, and also undermines guys who are supposed to be the natural leaders, at what they should be excelling in. Now I am unlearning all this stuff.

God never intended men and women to be the same. We are of equal worth, but we are definitely wired differently. And we have different God-given roles. Men are the leaders. This was just plain truth for centuries until the feminists began to insist differently.

I'm just so amazed how I took principles which turned out to be postmodernist thought and feminism, hook line and sinker.

I thank God for letting me realize this and early enough to influence how I will relate to men and boys.